“When
I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, “I’ve
got something to tell you”. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my
mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. “I want a divorce”. I
raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, “why?”
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep
sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own
our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then
tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had
become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she
cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her
cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next
day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care
so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the
morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a
month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both
struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son
had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.
This was
agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every
day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door
ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days
together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane
about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was
absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she
said scornfully.
My wife and
I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,
we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, “Daddy is holding mommy in
his arms”. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly; “don’t tell our son about the divorce”. I
nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to
wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the
second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could
smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a
long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on
her face, her hair was graying!Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a
minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the
fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This
was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth
day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made
me stronger.
She was
choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could
not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “All my dresses have grown bigger”. I
suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could
carry her more easily.
Suddenly it
hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously
I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and
said, Dad, “it’s time to carry mom out”. To him, seeing his father carrying his
mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our
son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was
afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just
like our wedding day.
But her much
lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, “I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked
intimacy”. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking
the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked
upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, “Sorry, Jane, I do not want
the divorce anymore”.
She looked
at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. “Do you have a fever?” She
said. I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Jane”, I said, “I won’t divorce. My
marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives,
not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize
that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold
her ‘until death do us apart’ ”. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a
loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs
and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I’LL CARRY YOU OUT EVERY MORNING UNTIL DEATH DO US APART.
That evening
I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only
to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months
and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon
and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in
case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m
a loving husband….
The small
details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not
the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an
environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time
to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build
intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
By Unknown (borrowed from a friend)
